The Fountain of Youth is in Our Minds
“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”
I remember what it felt like to walk into a room and see a few men’s heads turn. If that were to happen now, it would be because I’d dropped something. Thud.
In my thirties, I had kids, exercised less, drove more miles than a long-haul trucker, and figured out if I poured more wine into my glass, I wouldn’t need so many refills.
In my forties, I’ve given car keys to my seventeen-year-old, cooked more gourmet meals to expand my children’s palates, and seen other, unintended things expand as well. Specifically, my butt and my belly.
My relationship with my body is certainly not love/hate. It’s more like love/really?
I’m growing into my new normal. Literally, and figuratively. I turned 49 yesterday, and while I don’t aspire to the style and svelteness I had at twenty-five- it might also come with the silliness- I do marvel at just how easy it is to gain weight now. One party weekend with friends brings an extra five pounds. Damn- when did that start to happen?
Anyway, I love food. I love wine. I like some exercise. So despite the consequences, I’m going to enjoy the things that bring me pleasure, try to stay within reason most days, and love myself as I reach for a bit larger dress size.
My friend told me about a recent baby shower where three seventyish women walked in styled to the nines. Tailored pant suits, flawless makeup, and bodies that could not have exceeded size four.
She admired their beauty, their poise, and their warmth. Then the cake was served.
People rarely ask me if I want cake. If they know me, they just pass over a slice. Same for my friend. As she lifted a forkful of delicate lemon cake with and hints of grated lemon rind and fluffy cream cheese frosting toward her mouth, the hostess asked one of the ladies if they’d like a slice. “Sure,” she said, “with three forks, please.” Then those tiny, wonderful ladies used those three forks to share one piece of cake. It was almost enough to make my pal stop eating. Almost. She said that cake was really, really good.
So given the changes in metabolism and muscle mass, I’m choosing a slightly bigger size over a much smaller slice of life. And I’m trying to remember that my fountain of youth is in my mind, staying energetic, and accepting the changes that come with time.
Every person is unique, and uniquely qualified to know what action will bring them the most happiness, the proudest sense of self. While I have picked up weight lifting to stem some muscle mass decline, I think of the quote from Sophia Loren. I’ll never stop learning new things, cherishing those I love, and pursuing peace in my mind. I’ll also never completely give up food that makes my pleasure centers sing, good wine that soothes me with the first sip, and movies over workouts on dark rainy days meant to be spent curled into myself.
I’ve accepted my choices, and my subsequent new normal. Really.
