Could Our 9/11 Memorial Be Finding More Compassion?

I feel so unsettled today.  There’s a deep despair that weighs me down like wet moss.  I can’t stop thinking about all the lives so tragically lost fourteen years ago today, on 9/11.  I’d like to be able to point to some good that came of such unthinkable devastation, but I can’t.

When we suffer loss, we’re better able to make peace if some good can come of it.  When I lost my twins my world turned black, but once I found a way to help other families from losing their babies, I found peace.  I ache for all the families for whom peace is still elusive, and given the circumstances of their losses, I simply can’t imagine what could make them feel whole.

The only thought I have is the unity and cohesion that we felt as a nation after 9/11.  On that day, there were no republicans or democrats, black or white, gay or straight.  There were only Americans.  Our grief was so enormous that it obliterated the differences once seen through our parsing eyes.  If there is any good that could come of such undefinable tragedy, it is the cohesion of people previously separate and often at odds.

I wish we could regain some of that connection we all had for those sorrowful days.  I’m so troubled by the divisiveness that seems to define our politics, our communities, our places of worship, and even our families.  We live in a time when people identify themselves by what they’re against instead of what they support.  So many spend hours and days and weeks toiling to prevent someone else from marrying, or voting or earning enough money to simply feed their children.  What could we accomplish if all that time were instead spent strengthening our communities, improving our schools or cultivating more understanding of the changing world around us?

For me, I’d like to observe 9/11 with a national day of compassion.  What if in memorial to 9/11 we had one day when we ask people to pinpoint a source of disagreement, and instead of judging others as wrong- or much worse- try to see the other person’s perspective.  Could we try to replace judgement with understanding, to exchange hostility for compassion?  And if we could, would this show of humanity diminish the fears that fuel our judgments for days to come?

I know the world we live in is complicated, and sometimes even perilous.  We’ll never be able to all just get along.  But if you’re reading this, what could you do differently today that would create a little more understanding in the world?